Sunday 3 May 2009

Will the real Home Secretary please stand up

Could the aliens please give us back the real Jacquie Smith and David Blunkett? The fact that the real Smith and Blunkett have been abducted by little green men from Alpha Proximi and the planet Quargon (and are, presumably, being rectally probed even as I type, so it's not all bad news) is the only explanation I can think of for the astonishing voltes face over the recording of all our emails and phone calls one one mahoosive database (coming soon via data stick to a pub car park near you) and ID cards.

Still, there is more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, etc.

Other evidence that we have fallen through the earth's crust into some strange fourth dimensional parallel universe came in the form of Sir Al Aynsley-Green (crazy name, crazy guy) and his condemnation of the use of the Yarl's Wood Detention Centre by the UK Borders Agency to hold children who are being deported. My only problem with this is his timing. It's a pity he didn't pop up saying this before Assia Souhalia and her husband Athmane, who have been in the UK since 2002. and their 2 year old daughter Nouha, who was born in Brighton in 2006 and had lived here all her life, were grabbed from their beds at 6.30 one morning recently and deported.
Still, better late than never, eh, Sir Al.

You can be my body guard, I can be your long-lost pal.

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