Seal of Disapproval II (the sequel)

There are some topics on which I freely admit I find it difficult to understand the mentality of those responsible. The Canadian seal cull is one of them. If I think about it for long enough, I have to admit, that everything goes orange and I start feeling a bit “menkle” around the edges, and have to go for a walk around.

I felt the same way when I heard a recent story about a rare mutant white deer that had been born amongst a herd of wild red deer in Dumfries and Galloway, and the natural reaction of the Country Landowners association or some such other body that believes the best way to conserve nature is by filling it with buckshot, said that it should be culled. Apparently some German hunter had already offered five grand for the chance to come over and have a pop at it. Sad, sad, bastard.

Anyway, to a fanfare of no publicity whatsoever, the annual seal hunt on ice floes off Canada's eastern seaboard got underway last Monday, amid renewed opposition from animal welfare groups and a looming European ban on seal products. Once again, the event has been largely ignored by the world’s media and of course, Canada is keeping v-e-r-y quiet about it, hoping to continue to be able to be mistaken for a civilized country.

The Canadian government announced a total allowable catch this year of 338,000 harp, hooded and grey seals, out of herds of more than 6.4 million. Now this sounds quite a small proportion, but I would just say two things. If we are talking about percentages, then we should also remember that every seal that is killed is 100% dead. And we should beware the law of unintended consequences.

The Humane Society condemned this year's slightly increased kill quota, up 5,000 from last year, saying that it "flies in the face of the best available science and common sense." They also accused the Canadian government of a "profound lack of judgment" in setting such an "absurdly high quota."

"The last time Canada allowed this many seals to be killed, the harp seal population was reduced by as much as two thirds within a decade," it said, accusing Ottawa of trying to "wipe them out."

Considering that one of the supposed justifications of the cull (apart from the monetary rewards for the sealers, which could easily be addressed by the Canadian government with subsidies for the fishing communities if there was the political will) is that the seals are responsible for the decline in cod stocks.

But the decline of fishing stocks is part of a much bigger problem, a global problem of overfishing, and unsustainable use of the seas, that needs tackling by concerted international action. Plus, the seals also eat predators on the cod. So by killing the seals, the predators on the cod will flourish, with predictable results. No better off. Don’t take my word for it, there are studies by marine biologists on this, full of stats and graphs and shit. I’ve got one printed out on my desk upstairs. It’s about an inch thick and it proves conclusively that killing seals will not restore the cod stocks.

I assume that, if I can find it and read it, the vast resources of the Canadian Government can also do so. And therefore I assume also that they choose to ignore it.

Canada’s Fisheries Minister Gail Shea stated the cull takes into account the advice of scientists "to ensure the seal population is maintained." Apart from the ones clubbed to death, of course.

The minister reiterated Ottawa's commitment to "defend Canada's humane and sustainable seal hunt, and the livelihoods that depend on it."

Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, in April, the European parliament is to vote on a proposed prohibition on seal products that would ban them from being imported, exported or even transported across the 27-member zone. The measure still has to be approved by EU governments before it can be implemented. But, this might be the first ever recorded instance of the EU doing some good for a change.

Last week, Russia banned the hunting of harp seals less than a year old, after Prime Minister Vladimir Putin criticized the "bloody practice" . Just think about that for a moment, Canada, and hang your head in shame. Even Vladimir bloody Putin thinks you are barbarians!

However, sealers and the Canadian fisheries department defend the hunt as sustainable, humane and well-managed and say it provides supplemental income for isolated fishing communities hit by the decline in cod stocks. Here we go again. It’s about as sustainable as putting Dracula in charge of a blood bank. And about as bloody.

Again, the Canadians like to think they have cleaned up the cull. So that practices which have occurred in the past, such as the seal pups still being alive when they are being skinned, no longer happen. Allegedly. We have no real way of knowing though. For the whole seal hunt, just sixteen observer permits were issued to activists and media to monitor the hunt.

Of course, Canadians are not the only guilty party. Harp seals are hunted commercially off the coasts of Greenland, Norway, the United States, Namibia, Britain, Finland and Sweden. But Canada is home to the world's largest annual commercial seal hunt.

The seals are hunted mainly for their pelts, but also for meat and for their fat, which is used in beauty products. In some countries, 12 to 15 week old pups were also prized for their fur. According to the Canadian Fisheries and Oceans department, the “value” of the Canadian seal hunt in 2008 was 7 million Canadian dollars. The average price per pelt received by sealers is approximately $52.

So it all comes down to money in the end. Just $52 in Canadian mickey mouse money is the price of the life of a seal. But that is only if they can sell the end products. If we all stand together and refuse to buy anything derived from seals, in fact, anything from the tainted land of Canada, then that demolishes the other plank of the argument, and leaves Canada with nowhere to go.

I have often said the law in general is too lax on people who harm animals. If I had my way, I freely admit, in a perfect world, I would press for “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” in terms of legal remedies.

So the researchers who inflict needless pain in worthless “experiments” on laboratory animals just to make sure their research grant gets renewed would find themselves in a cage for a while, with their heads shaved. Yobboes who like to torture cats would find themselves tied up in a plastic bag and thrown into the canal, or off a car park roof. Fur traders would be skinned alive. People who abandoned dogs would be shoved out of the backs of cars, preferably on a busy motorway.

And these check-shirted buffoons would have their skulls cracked and lie in a pool of their own blood on some Godforsaken ice floe.

Ah well, a man can dream. As it is, we will just have to continue to boycott their blood-spattered products and to refuse to go to their country on holiday.